Walk Softly Live Gently

We are in sunny Southern California for this week. So this may be all you hear from me for a few more days. Should be back by next Monday. If I get a chance I’ll post some pics tomorrow.

Update: OK. I’m home. Here’s the promised pictures….

Jen at Dana Point, Ca

Me and Jennifer at Dana Point, CA

My attempt at Zen rock sculpture

Seal at Dana Point, CA

Jennifer getting her feet wet

Sailing at Newport Beach, Ca

Our gracious hosts, Jean and Russell (center) and family

As I read different peoples thoughts, ramblings,
rantings and rages in their various weblogs I’m struck
by the universality and commonality of the human
condition. I am amazed at the candor with which many
express themselves knowing that others,
perhaps many, people will read what they had
to say.

I am also struck by my own lack of candor, at least on occasion. There are a few things I might like to say but fear the wrong person might read it and misunderstand my intent. This is partly my own co-dependency at work; being afraid of what others may think of me. My most basic insecurity at work, I know. And yet, I don’t want to start a separate blog using an anonymous name. That would feel deceitful. Sorry, just something I’ve been pondering lately.

It has been extremely informative if occasionally disheartening to have the opportunity to glance into the psyche of so many from all over the globe. I have already mentioned in a previous post the extraordinary negativity, anger and self hatred I percieved among the younger crowd, especially teenage girls. I know, some of this is a normal part of growing up. But it seems to be pervasive and may have something to do with the high rate of suicide among teens today.

Oh well, I also know I can’t solve the worlds problems in a single posting but who knows?

this place

This is a small part of a larger area. It is the place where significant healing happened for me after the divorce ended 24 years of marriage. I did a great deal of writing here. It was the start of a new found love of poetry and writing in general.

It was also the start of a new life of love a few years later when I asked my best friend to marry me.

We are now about to celebrate our 11th year together next month.



It is also the place I want my ashes to be scattered, to be allowed to flow down the mountain to the ocean a couple of hundred miles east of this spot.

This is my most cherished inspiration.

She Said Yes

We laid our bodies flat on the rock

looked up at the sky through

the branches as light streaked

down upon us.

She said, this is so peaceful. I love it

here. I said, yes it is (feeling

nervous). We spoke of many

things.

Then…silence.

I turned my head

She turned to me

I said…will you marry me?

______________________________________

(Aside)

Time and AgainTime and again, however well we know the landscape of love,
and the little church-yard with lamenting names,
and the frightfully silent ravine wherein all the others
end: time and again we go out two together,
under the old trees, lie down again and again
between the flowers, face to face with the sky.

Rainer Maria Rilke

What if this day brought with it colors

wrought in tear-stained stone. Would it

then be a remembrance to dally on? What if

the sun were blotted out and the light became

awash in shadow? Would the day then be

a waving, rolling wheat field for you to

drown in? “But” you say, “that is not my doing.

I am only, after all, one who tumbles

with the wind and I thought I could respond

with grace and thus brighten the day by

stroking it with ochre and azure as if the sun

came out of my belly, and fields of poppies

came from my heart, like the love that is hidden

in skies of vermilion and French sidewalk cafe’s”

Oil on canvas 81.0 x 65.5 cm Arles 1888